Category Archives for My Fitness Progress

Oh You Didn’t Hear? This Blog DIED.

Sucks, Right?

Yeah, for DAYS…jack shit was posted. You might’ve thought I died. You might’ve messaged me, thinking something was wrong (thanks for caring!). You might’ve believed this blog was…


KippingItReal Blog Died

As long as the blog's still in demand, I'm still writing.

Fuck that.

This blog has resurrected. I’m alive and well folks! 😀

Between handling some stuff in the background for this site along with other projects, I just couldn’t find time to write. For that, I apologize.

Then with the comments, messages, and RANDOMMMMM Google searches…


Yep..."crossfit boner" and "guys boner"...

…I knew I HAD to write.

So What’s Happening In My CrossFit World?

Great progress! I’m feeling better than ever. My asthma seems to be dying gradually.

Running for me has gradually been getting better. My lifts have been improving a lot thanks to my pair of New Balance Minimus MX20’s. Gotta love the stability.

Oh…and my pink jump rope? Shit…my dubs are as smooth as butter now. I no longer have to worry about tangles and stretching out my cable.

With the lighter cable, while I DO have to use more of my wrists, there’s less shoulder fatigue in my double unders. However, as I said before, don’t start out with the RX Jump Rope. Get some cheap speed rope to start off.

So yeah…overall, things are pretty damn good.

North East Regional

Mannnn…I wanted to go so bad to see my box kick ass (still keeping that on the low key), but I already bought tickets to see the Dave Matthews Band this weekend…monthssss back.

What can ya do?

I wish my team the best of luck!

As for my performance this weekend? It’ll involve some “bear pong” and hitting cans of beer against my head. My CrossFit performance will suffer come Monday…but forget that. I haven’t see Dave Matthews in 2 years. It’s gonna be worth it.

If any of you happen to be going to the concert, you can probably find me and my friends in the parking lot doing nonsense like this:

As I said…good luck to my box! WOOOOOOO!

Where Do We Go From Here?

I’m honestly not sure if I can blog daily as I did before…but shit…I love you guys way too much. And even though I’m not the best writer, I enjoy blogging about CrossFit.

The sport’s one of my constants in life. Noon. Monday through Wednesday. Friday and Saturday. I’m at the box, making myself a better person.

It’s one of the few things I can totally count on to making my day awesome. Yes, some lactate training will make me hate life during the WOD, but I feel like a motherfuckin KING afterwards.

Let’s play things by ear 😀

Kip it real, my friends.

Have You Ever Felt Like Pissing At The START Of A WOD?

I Have

Numerous times. You don’t want to be THAT guy or THAT girl (think the Shit CrossFit Girls Say vid) holding up the class. You wonder…”If I hold it in, will I accidentally piss myself at some point? Maybe it’ll get me to work out faster?”

Billy Madison Peeing In Your Pants Is The Coolest

I’m sure you’ve had this happen to you before. It sucks, cause it tends to happen RIGHT when the WOD starts.

For this WOD, I was inspired by that Days In The Life Of Rich Froning vid to UPPPPP things a bit. Yesterday’s WOD really put my New Balance Minimus MX20‘s to the test with:

800m run
30 SDHP’s (135#/95#)
600m run
20 SDHP’s
400m run
10 SDHP’s

Got 15:52 w00t!

Coach said with the SDHP weight, you should be able to do around 5-6 reps at a time, although that would get a lot harder later on. Normally, I would’ve gone for 115#. Nah…fuck that noise.

I went for 125#

What About The Run?

Of course, I was worried about my asthma, so I really thought of pacing my running just enough to leave gas in the tank for the SDHP’s.

All these thoughts, these numbers, and all these random details kept going through my mind. I was worrying more. I was feeling a bit nervous. I had to piss. BAD.

Oh well.

Before I knew it, my weights were set, Coach started the clock, and all that nonsense going through my mind disappeared. I was in the fuckin zone.

Sure, the big dawgs in my class Rx’d this WOD at like 13:00-14:00ish. Still, I was pretty damn happy about my performance. For once, I didn’t stop running. I was making sure I was controlling my breathing properly all throughout the workout. That made a HUGE difference and made my asthma my bitch.

The SDHP’s were roughhhh for the initial set of 30. And although I wasn’t too happy about my reps (could’ve improved my form), I managed to fix things up as I put more emphasis on the hip drive. Seriously, for almost 2 years, I was doing SDHP’s with mostly my back and arms. Way to set yourself up for injury, man…

…once I started thinking of the hip drive like a clean, then the heavy reps yesterday in this WOD were manageable.

Piss Pants Sumo Deadlift High Pull

So embarrassing I had to blur his face...

Do The Games Athletes Go Through This Too?

I’ve always wondered if the Games athletes ever had to piss during a competition WOD…generally, I use the bathroom before or once I get to the gym to be safe, but the constant drinking of water while warming up or during a strength session can really get to you.

These elite of the elite are definitely smart enough to prepare going into a WOD, especially one of the longer ones, but they’re human too. Shit happens. When I do get a chance to interview Games competitors, this’ll be one of the first questions I ask them.

Have you ever felt like this before? What did YOU do? Hold it in? Hold up the class?

Or did you piss yourself and embarrass yourself in front of the class, scarring you for life?

Let’s get some comments rolling 🙂

This FATASS Wasted My Time

Or So I Thought

As I was catching up on the Killing The Fat Man series by the CrossFit Journal, I realized…shit…I could just be taking action right now.

Eating healthy. Working out. Doing something productive.

Why am I watching this guy’s story?

Gary Roberts McDonalds Whole Foods

Which meal will Gary pick?????

Then, as each episode was going by, I was getting even more inspired to step things up. To think that this guy started out of shape and overweight, to a new man getting hit on by strangers and nailing kipping pull ups within 5 weeks.

Damn, Gary. You’re really kicking ass. I was thinking about when I finally got my kipping pull ups down, and it seems like it took me 6 months to stop doing pull ups with the band. Doing WOD’s like that just didn’t feel right, so I knew I had to step things up.

Gary’s progress was easily the fastest I’ve seen of anyone starting from the bottom. Sure, there are instances where people from solid athletic backgrounds would start tearing shit up after CrossFitting for only a few months, but this was something different.

It Was Gary’s Attitude

Seriously. Despite all the negativity coming from his wife, daughter, and other family members, he IGNORED all that noise and just focused on becoming a fuckin boss.

If anything, watch episode 1 to see where Gary’s journey started, then watch episode 8:

This ep hits home for so many different reasons. As I was saying, Gary’s positive attitude was what carried him this far. He seriously looks like a new man, inside AND outside.

That’s the kind of shit that CrossFit does to ya, right?

Another reason I really enjoyed this ep was the part with Gary’s dad. My dad comes from basically the same type of background – blue collar guy who worked his ass off for many years to support my mom and myself. Unfortunately, his health has suffered because of this. That’s why I only wish my dad would try eating somewhat healthier and being more active.

The guy’s pretty damn stubborn, and no matter how much I try to show him how CrossFit and eating healthy has changed my life, he just can’t give up the delicious food he loves to make and eat. Can’t blame him…my dad’s an awesome cook 😀

I can only do so much…

A New Flame Was Lit

After catching up on these vids, I’m seriously more inclined to shatter my goals. Right now, my performance has been pretty damn good. It’s actually better than it was before I left for my 3 weeks in the Philippines.

Soon, I’ll surpass my Paleo Challenge conditioning from over a year ago…with the strength to boot.

But yeah…if Gary can pull that kind of progress in a little over 2 months, I KNOW I can get it done this summer.

How will I pull it off?
1) Get my nutrition down – as I’ve said many times, this has ALWAYS been my problem. Now, things are a lot better, but I need to kick things in high gear. It’s the main thing holding me back.
2) Up my WOD weights – for strength portions of a workout, going heavy for 1-5 reps is fine. I hope to hit Spealler-like numbers with those soon…butttt…I crap out too soon with WOD weights. For this, I need to gradually increase my weight, hitting Rx weights when I feel it’s right.

I’m seriously all fired up now. Thanks, Gary!

By the way, my only dislike with these vids are the discussions of Gary and his wife’s sex life. I’m happy for you guys and understand that’s part of the 3 H’s, but ummm…we’ve heard enough.

Kip it real, my friends.

Talk About BLOWING My WOD…

It Was A Messy Scene

I was ALL OVER the place…but how did that happen?

Could I NOT control myself?

Alright, alright…today’s workout started off AMAZING…then I shat the bed. It was one of those interval/lactate training workouts. Basically, you’ll want to puke your guts out after a round or two if done properly.


Original image from

Here’s what we had in store today:

10 Push presses (95#75#…went Rx babyyyy)
21 pull ups
200m sprint (100%)
rest 6 minutes
5 motherfuckin rounds


Yes, and boy did I not expect what I was getting myself into.

For the first round, I tore shit up…not gonna lie. The 10 push presses were smooth as butter, 21 pull ups were butterfly heaven, and that 200m sprint…I made Forrest Gump (post-leg braces!) look slow as shit.


All Positive Mindset Stuff Aside

Okay, I’m all about having a positive mindset. You know all that stuff that’d make a Tony Robbins fan cream their pants? But in this case, I know my body and its limits, especially with the asthma still affecting me.

Shit was getting bad with my wheezing during the round 1 sprint. I sounded like fuckin Thomas The Tank Engine.

Thomas The Tank Engine Inhaler Asthma


I gave that first round my all, and I knew hitting that level of intensity for the remaining 4 rounds would be me in some dangerous territory. As much as I wanted to go “balls to the wall”, taking care of my asthma and overall health comes first.

You just need to see the bigger picture here.

My 4 rounds after that were somewhere in between 2:18 and 2:32 each. Coach said to only do as many pull ups possible in 30 seconds if you can’t do them unbroken, so I had a range of 11-16.

Initially, I was really disappointed with the rest of my rounds, as I couldn’t do them in an ALL OUT sprint. Then I chatted it up with the owner on my way out, and it turns out things were all good. Instead of BLOWING my WOD, I did everything as expected.

We were supposed to go 100%. Oh…you know…as hard as #mattchansboner (oh The WODFather…). So we were expected to have a drop in time per round, rather than a consistent trend.

Also, the rest between rounds was purposely designed not to be enough for a near 100% recovery. GENIUS, I tell ya!

Now Even Though Today’s WOD Drained My Fluids…

…dehydrating me and whatnot, I’m SO PUMPED for tomorrow.



Oh, and we have double unders too. YEAH BUDDYYYYYYY!

Pink Jump Rope

What my rope might look like...

And ONE Last Thing…

Let’s GET SOME…discussion going on! I know there are a lot of you who read this blog every day, but have YET to comment! WTF is up with that? It seems like Elisa’s the only reader with BALLS (I don’t mean literally…but you get the idea :P) to post.

I dare ya to post a comment below. You don’t even need to use your real name. For serious. Even if you comment just to say “ Sucks Koala Asssss!!!!!!” DO IT!

Maybe you’re still fuckin clueless of how this works, so I’ll walk you through the process step by step:

1) Go to the “Leave A Reply” form below and fill out your name and email address (you can make up random shit for both…they’re just required to post)
2) (optional) Drop a link to your website, Twitter, or anything for some Google lovin…but PLEASE, no spammy Ugg Boot or Viagra links. Thanks in advance, asshole.
3) Leave some comment, any comment. As I said, “ Sucks Koala Asssss!!!!!!!” is perfectly fine.
4) Click the “Post Comment” button.

See…that’s some easy shit right there 😀

We Laughed Like Sick Fucks

A Different Direction

Okay, so with this entry, I wanted to try something shorter than most of my posts, almost like Lisbeth Darsh’s writing. At the same time, I thought of putting my own twist on things as well.

So here goes…

We Laughed Like Sick Fucks

What a crazy workout
Rowing, snatches, dubs to endure
Two and a half minutes
Of my sanity, I was unsure

I rowed my ass off
For a minute and a half straight
Then 15 unbroken snatches
My forearms could barely handle the weight

Dropping the bar
With only 30 seconds to spare
I grabbed my rope
Double unders with precision and care

Time was up
My body was saying, “No more”
But we’re not done
It’s not just one round but FOUR

Barely conscious
Feeling the opposite of a million bucks
Turned to a friend next to me
We laughed like sick fucks

Sparknotes/Cliff Notes/Analysis

Wait a fuckin second…WHAT WAS THAT?!?! Told ya I wanted to do something different haha.

It was basically a poem about yesterday’s WOD. I’d write about today’s, but honestly, it wasn’t anything special. This workout we did yesterday was a total mind, body, and soul fuck. Think that Fran-like burning feeling in your lungs each round. Not fun.

Here’s the breakdown of the WOD:
2:30 time for
Max meters row for 90 seconds (ALL OUT effort)
15 unbroken hang power snatches (85# was the Rx for guys, 55# for girls, coach suggested 65#)
With the remaining time, AMRAP double unders!

As I said, the row, snatches, and dubs were a total mind, body, and soul fuck. Once the dubs were completed, I threw my rope on the floor. I had my hands on my knees, fighting for air and thinking what the fuck I just did. Then I looked up to my friend next to me, and I just started laughing like a psycho. He did too. We laughed like sick fucks.

And then we realized that was only round 1…

Xzibit Not Laughing

By the way, thanks to Heidi‘s tweet for inspiring this post 🙂