…that gets you all pumped for your CrossFit workout.
It’s been an ongoing joke with my noon coach and some other friends at the box regarding the the box owner’s obsession with this one song.
Niggas in Paris:
I was a HUGE fan of this song…until it was played like 4382749238743294 times at the gym.
Not hating on our owner, but it was just so amusing how much this song amped him up. It’s obvious to him that people have been getting annoyed by the song. I even heard one time he was working out alone and looked around the box before putting that song on the sound system.
Too many lolz.
As much as we joke around about it, he really shouldn’t have any reason to care what we think about his obsession with the song. It’s his jam. It’s that song that puts him in the zone, in that perfect mindset for the workout.
And sometimes, these pump up songs are just flat-out stupid. Dumb. Lame.
No, I don’t delve into the old school Jock Jams songs, but I do indulge in mainstream rap/hip hop/whatever you’re supposed to call it.
For example, right now, my song of choice is “Donald Trump” by Mac Miller:
I came across this song a while back, but it’s that song of mine that makes me want to just take over a workout while having a blast.
Yes, I would classify it to fall under one of those lame/stupid songs, and I don’t mind it. Basically, I play it on repeat on the way to the gym, and I’m pretty much set.
Well, whenever I’m doing work on the computer, I like to play a song just before I get “wired in” as a sign to not fuck around. It’s one of my mental signals to start my day.
Also, just hearing the lyrics of wanting to take over the world, making money, and proving the haters wrong pushes me to work harder. Yes, lame…but it works.
So pretty much that same mental “start” is what I get from playing Donald Trump on the way to the box. My mind and body are ready for that beating through the WOD. Rather than being caught off guard with the intensity, I’m pretty much asking for the pain as I’m ready for it.
Actually, most of the time, I do.
You see, after getting pumped on the way to the gym, having a good warmup sesh, and having good vibes going into the WOD, it’s such a boner kill when a song that just doesn’t do the job starts playing.
For a while, there seemed to have been some kind of uniform CrossFit playlist. Seriously. I’d watch videos of the Games back in 2010, and the songs were exactly what we listened to at the box. It was a mix of your typical classic workout songs like Rage Against the Machine and the top pop/hip hop songs of that summer (Jason Derulo, Taio Cruz, Rihanna, etc…).
It must’ve been the “Today’s Pop/Hip Hop Hits” Pandora playlist.
Then lately, our Pandora playlists have either been a mix of Drake, recent pop stuff, electro/dubstep, and random “workout” music.
There’s never really a middle ground with the music we hear at the gym. You either love it or hate it.
Thanks to that 1 song prepping you up for battle, you should be in such a state of mind that you can cancel out the bad tunes. Shit, you might be able to totally ignore the music all together.
…do you have your own song that gets you in the zone for a WOD? If you do, post in the comments!
Well…at time at the box, people do work out practically naked…but no, that’s not what I mean. It’s just funny seeing people at your CrossFit box outside the gym with normal clothes on. You see, we just recently had our box’s summer party, which was a really great time. It seriously felt like college all over again, as I usually don’t party that hard when I go out now.
Everyone was wearing REGULAR clothes. Jeans, t-shirts, button-downs. WTF!
You know what else was surprising and what also kind of a relief? No one really talked much about working out. Okay, there were a few discussions I remember about PR’s, but it wasn’t like every person you turned to was in that mode of discussion.
At the gym, CrossFit is really all we talk about. Yeah, sometimes the small talk gets thrown in the mix. Within minutes, everyone brushes that off to talk about getting that muscle up down, shooting for PR’s, getting rid of that strain on your lower back, and so on.
It was just a great change of pace with the normal conversations. These are people you’re around almost every day, and it’s just a different feeling. You still have that sense of belonging without your body being drenched in sweat and your hands covered in chalk.
At these box-wide gatherings, there are still a shitload of people I’ve never seen before. I consistently hit up the noon class five times a week, so there’s still about 70%-80% of people I don’t know. While we do have a tight-knit community, the whole gym’s growing. I can definitely see us needing a new place eventually. Shit, even at noon, classes get packed as fuck.
Some guys at the party are pretty damn legit, as they were not drinking at all or maybe just had a few beers.
I respect that.
These guys want to make that trip to Cali next year definite (I can definitely see these guys pulling it off, and I’m not just saying that cause they’re from my box), so I totally dig their drive to kick things into gear even right after regionals.
I’ve been in that place before, not drinking sometimes, so I would never be one of those guys who’d be like, “Oh you’re not drinking? That’s weak shit.” There were times in college when I was sick and on meds, so I’d show up to parties with a water bottle to keep myself hydrated (haha yup…what was I gonna do? Stay in my room?). I even went to my first alumni weekend without one drink…
…thank you Paleo challenge 😛 That’s just how bad I wanted to win.
And don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against drinking. I look forward to some beverages on the golf course next week haha. I just respect it when people can show up to a party and still have an awesome time without having to drink that much or anything at all.
We all got to shoot the shit without talking about the same stuff we usually chatter about. Of course, nothing beats the feeling of being in the box.
I’ve made solid changes to my nutrition, especially after feeling like shit the morning after our gym’s party. In addition to the beers, I finished off the night with a Happy Meal and some other goodies from the Golden Arches (not going back for a LONGGGGG time). It makes me sick just thinking about that “food.”
So yeah, I’m about 80% Paleo right now, trying to find that happy medium that I can maintain for the longrun. Damn, I even cut out coffee! Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with a cup or two a day, which was how much I used to drink. However, now my body just seems to WORK. Yeahhh…it could be a placebo effect, but who gives a fuck?
If it makes me more productive throughout the day and helps me push my WOD’s to the next level, I’m all for it.
At the same time, my mind’s much clearer. Despite all the added responsibilities in my life as of late, I realized I MUST grow this CrossFit blog. I have to Kip It Real. I can’t see it any other way, my friends.
Okay, this isn’t for you natural jokesters out there. Shit just comes out of your mouth and people laugh. We know. However, there are some CrossFitters out there who might want to crack some jokes to break the ice, especially when they’re new, so here are some things you can try out. Just note that it all really depends upon the crowd you’re around and the coaches you’re joking around with. Use your own judgment.
And you might totally bomb with your jokes. It happens to me all the time. Whatever. Just have fun with it 🙂
1) Defining Acronyms or Starred Out WOD Names
I don’t know why, but the owner of my gym and many others out there love using acronyms for their WOD names. The day that “YOLO” becomes a WOD name, I’ll fuckin die (it stands for “You Only Live Once” for those not in the know…thanks Drake).
(I enjoy Drake’s music…but that damn YOLO motto has resulted in some of the stupidest things kids have said haha)
Anyway, when coach is done explaining the WOD on the whiteboard, I innocently raise my hand and just ask, “Um…what does AFAFP mean? or “I can’t read that (F*CK)…I can’t seem to decipher that word…what does it say?”
One time one of my friends just called me out and was like, “Haha you just wanted him to say “fuck” out loud.”
Well, he was right lol.
2) Squat Sound Effects
A friend of mine did this to me, so we’ve been doing this to some coaches ever since. When coach would be demonstrating some sort of squatting movement, once he or she reaches the bottom of the squat, I’d make a fake farting noise. Sometimes coach knows it’s coming so he’ll just call me out, “C’mon man…excuse yourself!”
Note: Don’t do this to other people when they’re actually doing a squat movement with heavy weight. If I were squatting with some weight and you made that noise, I’d crack up and potentially fuck myself up haha.
3) “What’s the workout again?”
After coach goes through the entire workout and asks if anyone has any questions, just ask, “So what’s the workout again?”
4) “My _______ is sore.”
Whenever recent WOD’s are pretty rough on certain areas of your body, coach would ask if anyone’s feeling really sore or tight there. The other day I was like, “Yeah man, my chest is pretty sore. It’s pretty tight. You wanna feel how tight it is? You wanna touch it?”
I say all this random stuff with a straight face. That’s key.
5) Coach Wants You To Write Something On The Board
For some reason in my class, no one writes shit next to their names on the board. No times, weights, or scores. Seriously, wtf, guys? That’s why our coach would joke around saying, “Hey can you guys write something on the board for me so it actually looks like I’m doing my job?”
Okay, I’ll do that.
Yeah, I tend to be the only one at times, too.
6) Show Coach How You Feel About The WOD
This depends on the coach. The WOD also has to be one of those total “I want to roll over and die” type of workouts. Basically, I’ll just walk up to them and pretend I’m throwing up with sound effects and hand gestures to help me out. Good times.
7) Pandora Sarcasm
Is it just me, or does almost every box use Pandora for their music selections? Yes, this music site has improved SIGNIFICANTLY over the years, but it still has a few hiccups. So I’ve noticed that our gym generally plays rap/hard rock/top 50 kind of music. Just imagine being in the fuckin zone and then…
…Adele’s “Someone Like You” comes up.
Of course, coach has to run over to the sound system to change the track. So I either say something like, “Hey c’mon! That’s MY SONG!” or “Sweet playlist, coach!”
8 ) Boxes, Snatch, Clean And Jerks…
You know what I’m talking about. These jokes will never get old, and it’s funny how people twice my age continue to crack them. I hope to grow up like you guys. You’re my heroes.
Actually, I don’t really plan on growing up. I’ll go through the motions of having a family and whatnot, but I’ll still find these box, snatch, and clean and jerk jokes hilarious.
Whenever someone in the class or coach mentions one of these words or phrases in a serious way, I can’t help but laugh, fake choke, or emit my signature male giggle. Yes, I giggle. It’s my thing. Haters gonna hate 😛
9) Boob Jokes
Okay, readers like Elisa and other females have an advantage here cause you can well…joke about your boobs…and get away with it. She commented yesterday on our Facebook page (LIKE US if you haven’t already), saying she joked around with her class about how hard it is to do burpees with boobs. It’s expected the guys would be laughing.
I think all the sexual jokes just work in the CrossFit class environment and amongst CrossFitters in general because of the 3 H’s. We’re “healthy”, “happy”, and “horny”.
Yeah, I’m not afraid to say that cause it’s the truth. The owner of my box (haha…not that kind of box…) mentioned the 3 H’s during a Paleo challenge meeting. You’re doing things right with your nutrition and overall health if those 3 H’s are in place…okay, with that out of the way, back to my last item on the list…
10) Getting Closer To Coach
This one right here is one of my favorites, and you can’t overuse it. You gotta spread things out over a few months lol. You know when the coach would ask everyone to gather by the whiteboard and people end up a bit too far from him or her? Coach would then have everyone get closer so everyone can listen.
What do I do?
I get close enough to coach that it’s slightly uncomfortable, then just carry on listening and looking at the whiteboard as if there’s nothing wrong. You gotta be “serious” here haha. If coach finds any unusual with this or jokingly questions me, I’ll seriously ask, “Oh, what’s wrong?”
My humor’s all about sarcasm, acting clueless, busting balls (with its limits), self-deprecation, deadpanning, and awkwardness (think Napoleon Dynamite).
Alright, maybe you didn’t find any of these things funny. Maybe you won’t try these things out. Maybe you just want to carry on with your CrossFit classes without saying anything. I just wanted to put this stuff out there cause maybe there’s someone who likes joking around with their friends or in certain groups, but feels too new to the people in your class to really crack any jokes. This’ll get your ideas flowing.
Breaking the ice in your class can really reduce any anxiety or nervousness before a WOD. The fun environment of my noon class is one of the reasons I keep showing up. And if you keep showing up 3 to 5 times a week, you’ll be kicking ass before you know it. You’ll get that first kipping pull up. You’ll nail that huge dead lift PR. You’ll continually surprise yourself.
Keep showing up. Keep having fun. Kip it real.
So what’s the workout like? Think Fight Gone Bad format, but with these movements:
Three rounds of:
75# Power snatch
Box jump, 24″ box
Chest to bar Pull-ups
For more information, check out the official CrossFit for Hope site or talk to your local CrossFit affiliate. Registration begins April 26th!
You always hear of friends at the box going for some intense cardio sessions on “rest days” from CrossFit. Either they go for a long-ass run/bike ride outside or join some globo gym for their cardio fix. However, if your own programming or box’s programming is spot-on, you really shouldn’t need that extra cardio.
Maybe a day or two for some light cardio sessions, but there’s no sense in tiring your body out. The best programming out there has a reason behind each WOD. Yeah, I actually used to think CrossFit workouts were really random, as I only followed the main site 3 years ago. Then once a buddy of mine became the head coach at his nearby box, I learned I was completely wrong.
At the same time, I learned that extensive cardio on top of your CrossFitting can be detrimental, depending upon your goals. Want to gain muscle or get shredded? Either way, you’ll need muscle, and too much cardio will hinder you in that respect, unless you’re eating enough. Want to lose weight and don’t care too much about body composition/muscle? Then eat enough and enjoy yourself with the cardio.
Once again, I’m no expert lol. Just mentioning some things I’ve learned from other coaches and my own personal experience.
On our box’s blog (I might reveal it in the coming months ha…), the owner encourages us to post every day of our WOD results and some feedback. One time, there was a trend of people commenting about their “after parties” post-WOD. Some people did skill work, which is fine, while others would do something like a 1 or 2 mile run.
Coach was just like, “Are you guys crazy?” He explained that doing that often could result in overtraining, slowing down any strength and muscle-building. His programming is designed in such a way that for the everyday athlete, the WOD’s 3-5 times a week are all you need.
Maybe you’re not pushing yourselves hard enough? I mean, after a good WOD, myself and others are usually feeling like this:
If you aren’t seeing gradual results, something’s wrong. It’s most likely with your nutrition. Or maybe you might have some kind of health complication preventing you from reaching your goals. Get some tests through your doctor. Ask your coach for more info on this kind of stuff.
I like saying it, so I’ll say it again…let’s be cereal. Cardio has a low ROI (return on investment). Why? You have to spend a lot of time on top of your normal CrossFitting to get it done. And to maintain your weight, you can’t stop doing cardio. It sucks, and does’t help when you’re someone like me who hates running.
Of course, your alternative, which actually has a better ROI, is to stick with your typical CrossFit programming and just get your nutrition fixed up. Sure, you’ll spend more time preparing meals, but that’ll most likely be less time than the extra few hours a week you’d spend doing cardio. And you know what? The CrossFit WOD’s will burn calories while you’re resting.
Back when I was at my lowest weight, around 145# going into my freshman year of college, I was always wondering why I didn’t have a 6 pack. I thought I ate “well”, and I did at least an hour of cardio after my strength training (typical bodybuilding shit). While I was really happy with how clothes fit, I still had some fat in the gut area.
Knowing what I know now, it’s because I didn’t have enough muscle on me. It made sense since my lifts were weak back then aside from Smith machine back squats (yeah…Smith machine…pathetic I know haha), and I barely ate enough protein. I barely ate in general. And to think some days
So for most people out there, rest on your rest days. Your body needs to recover from the punishment CrossFit delivers. Rest is really the only way you’ll improve, whether if you want to lose fat or improve your performance.