There’s a chance that you’ve probably seen this vid already, but “Bad CrossFit Gym Etiquette” is a good one. I love it cause a lot of these “characters” at the gym do show up.
The Coconut Burglar
I’m sure most of your boxes simply have some honor code where people actually pay for their coconut water or leave cash if no one’s around at the desk. If you’re actually stealing stuff from your own box like this…well…that’s fucked up.
Sadly, there are probably some low-life peasants out there who pull this kind of stuff all the time.
The Chalk Whore
Okay, when I started CrossFit, I’ll admit I was quite a chalk abuser, although maybe not to the status of “chalk whore” (maybe “chalk skank” or “chalk ho”). Shit finally hit me when I was constantly complaining about tearing my hands during pull up or toes-to-bar/knees-to-elbow WOD’s. Coach was just like…”Uh…the chalk’s just making things worse.”
Now I really only chalk up for 1 rep max cleans, snatches, or deads.
And I don’t know about you guys, but did that chalk whore in the vid remind you of Tyrone Biggums from Chappelle’s Show?
Andddd…one last thing about this section…props on the video editor for throwing in Muse’s “Plugin Baby”…one of my favorite songs in high school.
Too Fast Too Care
Fortunately, I never really see these guys or girls at our box. Our coaches are legit, so of course you’d be called out for this kind of nonsense.
The Sweat Beast
Yeah…I sweat like a mofo, so of course I try my best to clear off my stuff post-WOD. Although I do forget at times, especially when it’s a total MIND-IS-FULL-OF-FUCK type of workout and your brain is scrambled to shit.
Even in my car, I wipe down my seat, steering wheel, and arm rest once I get home. No one wants a car that smells like mold 24/7.
Haha…I really enjoy this one cause whenever this one friend of mine is in class with me, I end up talking or bullshitting along with him, sometimes when coach is explaining something.
Now, things have been reduced to random side comments to each other, although coach will call one of us out once in a while.
“Oh what’s that, Justin?”
“Uh…yeah, we were talking shit about you man…”
“Oh that’s nice.”
When I know it’s something that could take a while to explain, you know…like a WOD that requires the order of operations on steroids to dissect, then I keep my mouth shut or just try to ignore my friend’s nonsensical random.
The Ghost Rider
The guys in this part of the vid were great, especially the wall ball scene.
I don’t really see this stuff happen, although the flying barbells or variations have come close to fucking me up big time. I’ll never forget this one time I was doing Helen for first time Rx’d, and I was on a pretty good pace, but this one guy doing farmers carries didn’t put clamps at the end of his bars.
Of course, as he was walking behind me, I saw from the corner of my eye one of his 45# plates slip out, cause his bar to tilt forward in my direction. Yes, I did end up tossing my kettlebell overhead a bit like the guy in the video while I hopped out of the way.
I wasn’t pissed at all…rather, I was happy that bar didn’t hit me. That could’ve been some bad news bears.
The Gear Borrower
Lmao that was awesome.
Nope, can’t say I’ve witnessed this…oh wait…I have! In the middle of a WOD, woman took my wall ball one time…it was a 20# too. I simply turned to our coach, and mouthed, “What the fuck? She took my ball!” So I was forced to go to the carousel of balls mid-WOD. Not sure what happened to her original ball.
The Time Fabricator
Oh man…there are some pretty douchey people out there who do this. C’mon now…the only person you’re really cheating here is yourself. Oh, you want to brag about your new Fran time to your wife or co-workers?
Cool story bro.
In the grander scheme of things, unless you’re going for a “new world record” or legit competing in the Home Depot Center, no one gives a shit about your times or your scores. Yes, people do care that you’re working on improving your health and your life overall. That’s because most people at your box are pretty awesome and want to see you make progress.
But making up your times, scores, or weights is just a waste. Hold some standards for yourself. It’s the only way you’ll improve.
Do You See Any Of These Mofos At Your Box?
Post in the comments below.
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Kip it real, my friends.