CrossFitter Cult Recruitment Cycle

The Kool-Aid Cycle

The other day, I came across this blog post from Fit As Fu*k. And seriously, the whole cycle of finding out about CrossFit to becoming the biggest Kool-Aid drinker out there is sooo true.

You need to read it before finishing up my blog post. The blog post’s a good laugh for any of you somewhat into this damn cult.

Once You’ve Read Fit As Fu*k…

Let met ask you this…why does this cycle seem to happen to almost everyone? There are some of them that just seem to stand out a lot to me.

8. Friend other CrossFitters on facebook.

Okay, after a few weeks at my box, I started doing this. But the people are so awesome!

9. Rip your hands open, a little shocked and in a bit of pain…you’re smiling on the inside. It feels cool.

This still happens to me…

10. Start using the lingo… “WOD” “Rx’d”, “AMRAP” “Snatch” & “Fran”.

Saying this kind of stuff when I go out with non-CrossFit friends drives them nuts. They think I’m some kind of weirdo or something speaking a completely alien language to them. Hey…they asked, “What’s the deal with this CrossFit thing?” So I’m going to explain some things to them, ya?

Of course, I always drop those acronyms like crazy. Once again, another sign I drink the Kool-Aid too much…

13. Continue to drink too much & overload on carbs bc now that you train so hard, you deserve to celebrate with a few beers and a pizza.

This was me in college. I joined the box in my 2nd semester senior year, so I thought all that training would make up for my pounding of Keystone Light cans and consumption of Domino’s 5-5-5 deals. I kept things simple with a medium cheese to myself by the way…

16. Realize after 6 months or so that you are slightly stagnant and need to give this dreaded Paleo stuff a try. Educate yourself & commit to trying a Paleolitic-based Diet.

Once I graduated, I gave a Paleo challenge a shot. Man did I feel and look better than ever. My metcons haven’t been that good since…but of course, once the challenge was over, I went back to my old ways, and haven’t recovered.

As I’ve said before, one of the reasons I made this blog was to kick me back into gear. Showing up to the box 5 times a week is no problem for me. However, sticking to consistent and clean nutrition is my biggest challenge. I really have no choice but to improve my performance in the box (uh…) and drop the fat I’ve gained.

Who the hell’s going to listen to some keyboard jockey who doesn’t really live the CrossFit lifestyle? I gotta commit…which means I need more Kool-Aid (Paleo of course…).

17. See drastic improvements, feel incredible, dominate workouts like never before and preach about eating like a caveman to everyone you know.

Once again, friends hate me even more for this. Might as well become a preacher or something.

18. Talk about CrossFit. Think about CrossFit. Dream about CrossFit.

When I got home from vacation a few weeks ago and slept my days away to get over the jet lag (13 hour time difference), I had a dream I was doing cleans. I woke up with my arms in the rack position. True story.

20. Bleed this lifestyle, surround yourself with likeminded people, & want everyone that you love and care about to join your CrossFit ways…. because you know, that as of now, & as far as you can see…there is no better method.

So damn true. If only my parents would join…if only some friends would join…I WANNA CONVERT THEM. Just kidding. I’m not that crazy obsessed, but if only some really important people in my life gave it a shot.

However, here’s some real talk about the “surround yourself with likeminded people” part. I’ll admit that I had to stray away from friends who just didn’t have the same mindset as the people I spent time with at the box. Things kinda just happened gradually. It’s tough when you’re hanging out with people who just have a very different outlook on life, not wanting to shoot for the stars.

That’s their life though. You can’t criticize them for that. They’ve made those life choices. Different strokes for different folks.

However, I’m just the kind of person who isn’t afraid to fail. You tell me “NO” and I’ll keep fighting for my goals. A business project of mine tanks? I’ll move onto the next. Failed max squat clean? I’ll shake it off, rest a bit, then f*ckin catch that heavy-ass bar on my shoulders.

The truth is…this CrossFit blog is my baby…it’s a project idea I had for over a year. Now it’s time to grow this mofo.

All Kool-Aid jokes aside, I hope the CrossFit culture inspires you to dream big and actually make those dreams a reality.

KippingItReal

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Ian

I’m not sure how I feel about your enjoyment of Keystone Light, but I was on the Domino’s bandwagon back in college too. Once I tried Paleo out, I was sold.

Saw your tweet, so I thought why not post? Do I win a prize?

KippingItReal

Oh snap! An actual comment lol.

Ian, first of all, I’d like to thank you for dropping some comment loving. About Keystone, well…we were broke college kids, so what did you expect? 30 racks hit $10 sometimes. Man, Domino’s was amazingggg…then you regret it the next morning or sometimes right after you finish that last slice.

And a prize? No, not today. When this site becomes a BEASTTTT, I’ll run some bosssss contests. Then you can win a prize.

crossdancer

@ian, what’s wrogn with keystone? i’m a girl and i actually enjoyed it. maybe because it was basically water to me?

to mr (i think?) mysterious kippingitreal, love the blog. why only 1 post today?

KippingItReal

@crossdancer First of all, I read your screenname as crossdresser lol. Oops. Been busy, but I’ll start ramping posts up again.

NickyBean

I am going through this cycle right now – just starting to try Paleo (I’ve been going 3 months and converting steadily)- but I use my kids as an excuse because they like to eat loaves of potato bread and watch Dragonball Z. There is no way in hell they’d let me go all the way. I did, however, get my oldest to try Crossfit Kids. She enjoys

NickyBean

I am going through this cycle right now – just starting to try Paleo (I’ve been going 3 months and converting steadily)- but I use my kids as an excuse because they like to eat loaves of potato bread and watch Dragonball Z. There is no way in hell they’d let me go all the way. I did, however, get my oldest to try Crossfit Kids. She loves being tough like Mama 🙂

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